Is Depression Chemical or Psychological?

People who don’t think depression is chemical have never experienced it.

I have struggled with depression for most of my life.  I remember being depressed as early as 10 years old.  I remember wanting life to end for the first time when I was in Junior High.  Thank God for medication.  I don’t feel like that anymore. 

But I am struggling with it now and I’m not sure why.  I am trying to take care of myself. I am following my doctor’s orders.  I love my family and my life.  I am looking forward to my new job.  But I’m feeling overwhelmed. Change is difficult for me. 

I am not writing this to ask for help.  I am just writing it to let people know that depression is real.  If you have friends who loved ones who have it, they can’t control it anymore than they could control any other illness.  Prayers for me would be helpful, however.

In many ways my life is going really well right now:

  1. I have a new job I’m going to love.
  2. My daughter is thriving.  Our attachment grows stronger every day.
  3. My two blogs, Amazing Family Life and My Special Needs Classroom, are doing fairly well and starting to get a fair amount of traffic.
  4. I’ve written over 60 published articles this summer.
  5. I am so proud of my family.  We are “out” and I feel really good about it.
  6.  Jane and I have had a great summer together.

I liken my depression  to being stuck in a ditch.  Some days the mud at the bottom of the ditch is so deep I can’t seem to move.  And I want to move.   Other days I keep trying to climb up the sides of the ditch and the sides keep caving in.  Some days I manage to get all the way out of the ditch, maybe even several times per day but I keep falling back in.  Some days it feels like my body is out moving around getting things done but my mind is still stuck in the quagmire. 

Loved ones  (and probably many of you reading this) have a hard time understanding that there is absolutely nothing that we can do about it.  I know it looks to the outside world like we are just “wallowing in it” and “feeling sorry for ourselves.”  I want to hibernate.  I want to stay disconnected.  I want to isolate and live in my little isolated cocoon of books and Internet.

I know one thing for sure -

Depression, at  worst (and this is not my worst by a longshot) is more painful than anything I’ve ever experienced, it’s unrelenting, and I would climb to the top of Mt. Everest if I thought it would cure it (if I could manage to take each step).

I also know that without modern day medication, I wouldn’t be able to have any kind of a normal life at all.

God, just help me get through it, one day at a time.  Like you always do.

Jim Tressel: Despite His Flaws, He Made Me a Buckeye Fan

It’s surprising to me that I am writing an article about college football. 

Growing up, I was never a football fan.  Football, particularly OSU football, was on in my house every Saturday.  My dad and brother watched; I could be in the room for the entire game and not know who won.  My dad was a big Woody Hayes fan.  I knew who he was, but when my Dad and brother went to an OSU game in the late 70’s, my mom and I were happy to take a bus downtown and go to Lazarus.

I went to Ohio University, graduating in 1992, and went on to complete my Master’s degree from The Ohio State University in 1999.  In 1998 I decided to see what all the hype was about going to a Buckeye football game.   I loved the band, the excitement, the feeling in the air, but admittedly I still wasn’t the greatest fan of football.  I even went to a couple of bowl games over the next two seasons: The Sugar Bowl of 1999 and the Outback Bowl of 2000. 

At the Outback Bowl of 1999 the fans were very disappointed in the performance of the team under Coach John Cooper and he was subsequently fired.

I was listening to the radio and they were discussing the possible candidates for the head football coach position and one of the commentators was stating that he hoped it went to a little known coach from Youngstown Coach named Jim Tressel.  They said that he had won four NCAA Division II National Championships.  The other commentators did not think he was qualified but the one particular commentator was rooting for him.

Later it was announced that the little known underdog, “Jim Tressel,” was indeed the new OSU Buckeye Head Coach. 

The following season I went to the first game and at the close of the game Jim Tressel and his team, along with over 100,000 fans, met at the goalpost and sang “Carmen Ohio.”  I was hooked.

I even bought season tickets for the first time.  They were in Section 27AA.  Decidedly not the best seats in the “Shoe,” but it didn’t matter, because any season tickets were worth their weight in gold to me.

The following game was cancelled due to the attack on our nation which occurred September 11, 2001.  It was unheard of for an OSU football game to be cancelled but due to national grief and security it was necessary.

When I returned to the following game there was a decidedly different atmosphere in the St. John arena skull session when the coach and the players walked in.  The only word I can think of the describe the atmosphere is “reverent,” not just for our country, the people who died on 9/11, but also for Tressel, the team and the institution of football.  Somehow it was about more than a game of football – it was about showing the world that despite what our enemies had done to us, they had not prevailed.  The feeling in the stadium was also one of a new kind of fear.  I recall prior to the game seeing an airplane fly overhead was common and nothing to give a second thought; after 9/11 the airspace over the stadium was restricted and an airplane seen in the distance was cause for anxiety.

The 2001 season was not remarkable.  Tressel ended the season 7-5 and lost the Outback Bowl again.  Not a great start for this new coach.

The following season was a different story, however.

Due to the cancelled game the previous season, we had 13 games scheduled for the 2002 season. I went to every home game, as well as Indiana and Illinois.  Several of the games in the season can only be described as “miraculous.”  Illinois was freezing cold and went into triple overtime.  Purdue was won by the skin of our teeth.  Clarett was in. Clarett was out.  We had this quarterback named “Craig Krenzel” who was tall, lanky and a good athlete, but not considered Heisman material by a long shot. 

But he was smart.

As most Buckeye fans know, we ended that season 13-0 and went on to the National Championship game in Tempe Arizona, ending with a record-setting 14 -0 season.   And I was there.  I paid more for a ticket than I will probably ever spend on a football game again in my life.  It was a game I will never forget and it was worth every penny.  We were definitely the underdogs to the “shiny, elite” squad of the University of Miami.  I spent nine days in Tempe and there was a definite air of superiority from the Miami fans and team.  We were not expected to hold up against the green and gold at all.

At the beginning of the game the Miami fans around me were almost laughing about how easy a game it was going to be.  But then they noticed the number of red shirts in the stadium, the sold out crowd, the great band and the “Tressel Ball” fans,  I could sense them getting nervous.

I stood at my seat and screamed for 5 straight hours, never leaving to get a drink or even go to the restroom.  By the end of the game I couldn’t talk and I have never been so thirsty in my life. 

We won! We were the National Champions for the first time in 36 years! 

And I remember a Miami fan who was laughing at our spirit at the beginning of the game turning to me, shaking my hand and saying “You’ve got quite a team.  You made me a believer.  You fought and scrapped and you won.”

When Tressel held up the National Championship trophy and the team sang Carmen Ohio, I knew that it was truly the beginning of an era that The Ohio State University had not seen since the days of Woody Hayes.

Admittedly, I am disappointed in the conduct of Coach Tressel, but I truly hope that people remember him for the thousands of things that he did right, not just on the field, but off as well.

Thank you, Coach Tressel.  Go Bucks!

 

 

 

You Know You’re Middle-aged When –

  • You think the waiter is flirting with you and then he calls you “Madam.”
  • You have to pay more for a bra than a pair of jeans.
  • The term “safe sex” means determining which positions are the least likely to cause you to be in pain the next day.
  • You find yourself discussing menopause with your mother.
  • You have to rest on Friday night so you can begin your weekend on Saturday.
  • Saying “I have to go to the bathroom” doesn’t mean you can wait 100 miles until the next rest stop, or even 60.
  • Your children tell you they are supposed to dress up as the “80′s” for a school dance and ask your advice about how to people dressed in the “old days.”
  • You think back to how old your parents seemed at your high school graduation and then you realize you are that age now.
  • You come back from “vacation” and have to rest a day or two before going back to work.
  • It’s too much to clean your house AND go to the grocery store in the same day.
  • The cashier at the grocery store asks if you need help to your car.
  • You start looking forward to the next birthday.

Enjoy every moment of your life!  You never know when it might come abruptly to an end!

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Favorite Early Childhood Books

These are my favorite early childhood books, which in my opinion should be in every home and classroom library.

Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

Head to Toe by Eric Carle

Brown Bear Brown Bear by Bill Martin

Mary Wore Her Red Dress and Henry Wore His Green Sneakers

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom by Bill Martin

Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister

Growing Vegetable Soup by Lois Ehlert

Where is Spot? By Eric Hill

Feast for Ten by Cathryn Falwell

I Love My Hair by Natasha Tarpley

The Three Bears by Paul Galdone

I Went Walking by Sue Williams

LGBT Adoption and Parenting – Free Legal Information – Nolo

I came across some free information on gay and lesbian adoption from NOLO.

Gay and Lesbian Adoption and Parenting – Free Legal Information – Nolo.

LGBT Adoption and Parenting – Free Legal Information – Nolo

I came across some free information on gay and lesbian adoption from NOLO.

Gay and Lesbian Adoption and Parenting – Free Legal Information – Nolo.

Living with Autism: Meeting the New Teacher

School is getting ready to start and your child with special needs has a new teacher and/or school this year.  You naturally want to meet the new teacher.  Here are some tips for making the meeting a positive experience for all involved. 

1.        Call the teacher.  If no one calls you, call the school the week before school starts and ask to speak with your child’s new teacher.  Introduce yourself to the teacher and say that you are “Joe’s Mom/Dad” and would like to have to opportunity to meet the teacher and ask if a meeting could be arranged.

2.        Try to meet the teacher somewhere other than at the school.  Whether or not you meet the teacher for the first time with or without your child along is up to you.  I suggest you and your child meet the teacher at the same time. Consider asking the teacher to come to your house or meet in a public place.  That way your child is meeting him/her on neutral territory.  I personally think it’s better if the child does not go to the classroom before school starts because it will be a very different setting than what he/she will encounter when school starts.  For instance, if allowed to freely wander the classroom when visiting in August, your child might think he can wander freely after school starts as well.  Children with autism don’t understand “context” so he/she might get confused when the first day of school they come back and find the same room full of people, noises and “rules.

3.       Discuss the following with the teacher, as these are paramount to your child’s success in his/her new environment.

  1. Your child likes and dislikes
  2. Your child’s strengths
  3. Sensory issues – Examples include loud noises, overstimulation, fear of touch
  4. Food preferences and allergies – Something as small as a child needs his chicken nuggets cut in two can make a big difference to a child with autism.
  5. Communication needs – verbal, non-verbal, sign language, echolalia, picture communication symbols
  6. Bathroom Assistance needed, if any
  7. Family member names and what your child calls them
  8. Your child’s challenging behaviors, if any, and what you have found works and doesn’t work.
  9. How is the best way for the two of you to communicate with each other? Phone, email, text, notes, or other

4.       It’s o.k. to talk about previous school experiences, but try to make the first meeting with the new teacher a positive one.  If you launch into everything you found wrong with the previous school or teacher, the meeting will start out on a defensive tone.

5.       Find out what school supplies are needed and try to drop them off the day before school starts.  If your child with autism takes them to school the first day, he/she might not understand why he is not taking them home with him in the evening.  I’ve seen this frequently in my career.

6.       Lastly, find out what the teacher wants from you.  This is always a welcome question and sets the tone for a positive relationship.